Technically, it was a “yellow jacket”, but my title was getting too long, so…

Have you seen the NBC show “Community“?

{love}

It’s about a band of community college misfits. To paint a broad-brush stroke of the show… It’s funny. Sharp, Witty. Chevy Chase. I know, Chevy is a proper noun, but he is beyond such trivial grammatical limits.

And minus the Chevy Chase part, I feel me and “Community” are kind-of a lot alike. *ahem*

I digress… this Thursday night (11/11/10) gives us a new “Community” episode. One in which Annie’s (Alison Brie) favorite pen goes missing… and suspects the culprit is a member of the study group. and Jeff (Joel McHale) takes the lead in conducting the search.

Joel McHale. Yeah. I got to talk to him on the telephone. All my friends said I was cool for getting to do that… To be able to listen to his not on television voice. And have his very own voice respond to my very own voice…

{photo used with permission}

But I was just a pawn, really… “Jenny! You’re so cool! No, really… Um… Can you ask him if he’ll marry me?” And all my husband wanted to know was, “But how much can he bench press? Ask him.”

True story. As is the rest…

It came time to call in and join handful of other practically-celebrities such as myself… Danielle, Aimee, Catherine… to name a few.

Except I was a good 5 minutes late… because Lucy, my 5 year old…

SPILLED HER ENTIRE CUP OF STRAWBERRY MILK ON THE CARPET.

I finally got placed into the call, but I was having issues. I’ll save the details, but suffice it to say…

I HUNG UP ON MYSELF, er… ON THE ENTIRE CALL!!!

I fired up my cell phone and home phone, dueling banjosphones seeing which one would get me back on the call first.

I got back on the call, pressed 1 and 4… to get back in cue to ask my question and…

KEVIN

my dog

KNOCKED A SCREEN OFF ONE OF MY BEDROOM WINDOWS

Mind you – I had no idea when I would get my turn to grill Joel (yes, I call him “Joel”)… I just knew I had to be ready when I came off mute. I picked up the window screen and sat back down.

KEVIN BEGAN TO ATTACK AN EARPLUG.

His FLOMPS and FROMPS filled all the noise space in my room as 70 pounds of that dog came down on that poor earplug. Over and over and over and over and over. Again.

Meanwhile, each person is having her turn and chatting up A REAL-LIFE CELEBRITY MAN.

And Lucy started crying.

She wanted more strawberry milk.

Kevin started crying.

He wanted out. We have property. And wild bunnies. Kevin would love to play with a bunny like he played with that earplug.

Grab a cup of coffee, friends… I am not even close to done….

I begged Lucy, “You can cry all you want, but can you wait until after I am done with my phone call????!!!” My voice ascending with each word…

“OK, Mama.”

*blinking*

I put Kevin on the back porch.

The call and the questions continued…

And I went back upstairs to my room.

And then Lucy’s Hello Kitty show ended and she tried to navigate to the next episode on on her own and I have no idea what she did , but… she must’ve enabled the voice command or some robot-thing that computers have inside because

C3PO’s AMERICAN THIRD COUSIN STARTED TALKING

WITH VOLUME CONTROL AT 11

By this point I am sure that AT ANY MOMENT it is going to be my turn and Joel McHale is going to think Jenny On the Spot is a male robot.

I shut-down the computer, and made Lucy chocolate milk.

Desperate times… desperate measures.

By this time I am pretty sweaty. I feel feverish and a bit out of sorts. By this time I had gone up and down my stairs so many times I might as well have climbed the Alps.

And I had to look around to see if there were hidden cameras in my house. I certainly wasn’t able to listen to much of the convo… might as well look for hidden cameras.

I found none.

And in 3… 2… 1… the moderator announced it was my turn!

*serenity now, serenity now*

I made some chit-chat with Joel about the fact that my son’s name was also Joel… and then I heard a significant BZZZZZZZZZZing. Remember that knocked-out screen?

I was supposed to be trying to reminisce the “old days” with the charming Mr. McHale… He grew-up around these parts…

Instead I found myself standing before a buzzing wing-ed creature with

A STINGER

{not to scale} {Satan’s help-mate was MUCH bigger} {I swear}

Eye. To. Eye.

Stinger. To. Nose.

I may have said the “S” word. In fact I KNOW I said the “S” word… how loudly??? I am not so sure. I do know that I raced about my room, WHILE “chatting”… opening doors, dodging the forward advances of the creature that could give me an owie.

Pretty sure no one on the call knew the certain death I was facing.

I’m like Houdini. In fact, just call me Shedini.

And I had to make a decision… Do I leave my room and get away from the winged assailant? Or do I leave my room and no longer have a noise barrier between me  and my Hello Kitty deprived 5 year old? Firing squad or hanging?

I left my room… and within moments… Lucy zoned in on me like maggots to death. I ended the call rocking in a corner in my son’s bedroom. And I took 2 candies from his Halloween stash. He keeps inventory. He totally called me out when he got home from school.

*sigh*

———

I have been provided a transcript of the entire conversation, but frankly… I am embarrassed to look.

Suffice it to say… the moments I was able to listen, I felt like I was listening to any particularly nice guy. Ya know, good manners, didn’t just answer “yes” or “no”… seemed to have healthy social skills and whathaveyou. Imagine that – a celebrity AND  human! *fist bump, Joel*

And despite all my running for my life, we were still able to talk about coffee. He LOVES coffee… so CLEARLY, Joel is my kinda person!

[video]

Update: about an hour later I let Kevin back in the house. I later found him in my room… attacking and subsequently GAGGING on what I believe was my winged nemesis. And to that creature I say,

WHO’S THE ALPHA DOG NOW?!!!

Now. Go watch “Community”. Let’s go laugh…

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Attention Seattle-area peeps!!!

Savvy Source has launched their Savvy Source Woodland Park Zoo membership giveaway! They will be giving away a family membership every day for two weeks starting November 3rd!

To enter for your chance, click on each of the links to find out ways you can enter for your chance to win a free family membership to the Woodland Park Zoo! It’s simple simple!

1. Facebook Main Page Sweepstakes – here
2. Savvy Seattle Facebook Fan Page - here
3. Twitter Page – here

Sweepstakes ends Nov. 17, 2010!

*I was not compensated for this posting, but there may be referral benefits if enough people join in the fun

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*Update… we have our winners!Thank you so much to Zelosport for your huge heart and giving extra to benefit 2 charities! Our winners are Bob and Eric. Bob’s choice charity is Common Era Ministries, and Erics choice charity is the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation of Washington State! You guys are awesome – Bob, Eric AND Zelosport! Here are the randon.org numbers:

I received an email from Zelosport asking if I’d like have my family try one of their table top games. I was all, “What? Fun? Bring it!”

Zelosport makes table top football, soccer, baseball, and golf games.

I decided we’d try out the football game, and got to choose our own team – of course I chose the Seahawks mat! We live in the Seattle area, and are therefore Seahawks fans.

Also, after my kids pass gas, instead of “excuse me”, they say “GO SEAHAWKS!” It’s true.

This is not my family. I didn’t want to show my messy house.

The Zelosport mat is a smooth and sturdy. The game comes with instructions, and the pieces needed for play (dice, foam ball, ring markers). Our family found it was a little complicated to fully integrate the rules… so we adjusted a bit and found it fun to flick around the foam football and zoom the rings and pieces… setting our own passing goals and whathaveyou.

If football is not your “thing”, Zelosport also has mats for baseball, soccer, golf… Visit Zelosports for more information! By the way if you decide one of these games might be a fun holiday gift – be sure to use this link or type the code “Jenny” at checkout — you will receive 10% off your own game purchase!

Hey! Would you like to win a game for yourself? Would you ALSO like to be able give away one of these games to a charity of your choice? It’s almost Christmas! Zelosports is giving a free game for two commenters AND a game for each winner’s charity of choice!

Contest Rules:

• No duplicate comments.
• In your comment, please leave the name of the charity to which you will be donating.
• You may receive an additional entry by linking on twitter and leaving a link in the comments (please leave Twitter link in a separate comment).
• Or receive an additional entry by blogging about this contest and leaving a link in the comments.
• This giveaway is open to US Residents, aged 18 and older.
• Winners will be selected via random draw (www.random.org), and will be notified by e-mail.
• You have 48 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
• Contest ends at noon PST on Friday December 11th!

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We got rid of television 2 months ago.

We did it to save money. 2 months ago we had a Direct TV bill. Today, we do not.

And I like it.

And I don’t miss TV.

Why?

Because of site like Fancast.

The skinny:

Fancast debuted in January 2008 and now has more than 10,000 hours of online video programming; with more than 60,000 videos available, including over 13,000 full-length shows (more are being added every day)

Fancast aggregates TV content from more than 100 sources (including Hulu by the way), and Fancast has more TV extras than any other site including: movies, pictorials, blogs, listings, live chats and Q&A’s with stars, and much more.

This means I can watch choice shows on my own timeline. I have access to more shows too. There are commercials, but they are limited.

You should check out Fancast. It’s free and easy. If you are a Mac user (like me), you will need to do a little download. It was quick and easy. No headache… all leading to free on-demand entertainment on the web. A great choice for busy families!

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