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In the early years of my parenting journey, I was anti-gun. AN-to-the-TI. No squirt guns, no Nerf guns, no stick guns, no finger guns, no, no, no, no, NO… Then one day my, I gave my 2.5 year old son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH.
Soft, whole grain bread. Sweet jelly… Innocent of the innocents.
I turned to clean the counter… then I heard little boy shooting sounds, “pewpewpewpewpew”… I turned. He said, “Look, Mama! A gun!!!”
I threw up my hands. Literally.
That was the day I gave up. My son is 11 now. And he is good boy. No, a GREAT boy. One of the most compassionate, caring and well-mannered boys to walk this earth. But he is a BOY. He is no longer making peanut butter and jelly sandwich guns. No, he saves his allowance and birthday money to make sure he has a well-stocked, and well-ordered Nerf gun arsenal.
He is well-prepared. Well-ordered… and clearly — a Nerf-force to be reckoned with!
Just think… it all started with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I am SO glad I gave in. Could you imagine an arsenal of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? That’d be a MESS!
Your turn! Share a funny story (ANY story!), video clip, picture, etc… in the comment section and you will be entered to win $150! Please keep your comments G-rated as any profanity or offensive content will automatically disqualify you from sweepstakes entry. There are 11 other chances to win $150 each month & the chance to win $100 each week from the Daily Laugh Hub on BlogHer! If you share something really funny, we may even use it in The Daily Laugh! Sweepstakes ends 9/12/2010.
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I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.
gmissycat@yahoo.com
http://twitter.com/lpauld68/status/24298540508
pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com
I have a funny story. I told my daughter that I could change the color on tv. We watched the Wizard of Oz and I told her I would change the color after Dorothy’s house crashed in the tornado. Her eyes opened up wide, and she was like, “Wow, Daddy, you were right!”
I don’t have a funny cooking related story, except that my daughter loves dinosaur pancakes, rather than mickey mouse pancakes!
pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com
My sister was sitting with my 4 year old teaching her some Spanish words. My daughter successfully practiced the words and then began making up a string of gibberish-sounding words on her own. At some point, my mother interjected with an actual Spanish word to which my daughter replied, “No Grandma. I’m speaking Spanish not you.” My mom, my sister and I cracked up!
Well, I recently blogged about my first experience trying to debone a chicken, which was QUITE a disaster: http://lifeblessons.blogspot.com/2010/08/getting-to-know-my-chicken-dinner.html
Here’s a little excerpt:
“I decided I’d give it a try and picked up a whole chicken the next time I was at the grocery store, and took it home to discover the pastime of carving your own chicken.
As I pushed and prodded the poor creature, memories of 9th grade biology class and frog dissection came back. I couldn’t figure out where I was supposed to cut and tried to pause and rewind the video tutorials to get a better understanding. It felt like the videos were in fast-forward mode, as the chefs sliced and diced with super-human speed. It wasn’t nearly as easy as they made it look. Perhaps that’s why they’re the professionals?
Whereas the videos took less than a minute for the adept cooks and butchers, it took me about 45 minutes of snipping and tugging and sweating (seriously) to finally get my chicken carved up, although one drumstick and both wings got mutilated in the process (not sure how).
I shoved the cuts into the fridge, and washed my hands about 5 times once I was done, slightly grossed out by the hands-on experience I just had with my dinner. (Not to mention the extra parts that rolled out from the inside of my dinner during the operation .)”
http://twitter.com/kdolphins7/status/23858571581
I was making cookies just the other day. My kids were helping me. I cracked the eggs into the mixer bowl. I must have been tired as the WHOLE shell fell in with the eggs. Before I could stop them, my kids turned the mixer on! Laughing the whole time! We had egg shell cookies instead of chocolate chip cookies!
I was supposed to make deviled eggs for a party, so I put the eggs on to boil and sat down at my computer. I became engrossed in what I was doing and forgot about the eggs…until I heard a small explosion in the kitchen. All the water had boiled out of the eggs and the eggs had gotten so hot, the yolks were exploding out of the eggs and shooting across the room! I’ll never live that down!!
bleatham*at*gmail.com
Was blessed with an old-world grandmother. Although she didn’t teach me how to cook, I had an expectation of a high level of home cooking.
When I went to college some young women tried to impress me with a “home cooked meal.” Well, they (the dinners) were disasters.
I learned to feed myself, simple meals, likely solely by osmosis.
The young women would throw up their hands, as if in surrender, and I had to do the cooking.
scoopster(nopspam)at yahoo(nospam) dot com
Tweeted! http://twitter.com/givekaciestuff/status/22998097992
One time, I made a pot of spaghetti with my grandma. She had a can of dog food on the flat top stove and it overheated and exploded…we can assume, there were “bits” (or kibbles maybe) in the sauce. When I suggested throwing it out, my grandma just smiled and fed it to the (unaware) family anyway.
I didn’t eat that night
Me: What’s that?
2yr old daughter: A cow.
Me: what does a cow make?
2yr. old: Chocolate milk!
needless to say, I’m raising a chocolate milk junky.
tweeted: http://twitter.com/KerryBishop/status/22911493714
I wanted to fry some fish recently and was out of breading for it. I looked in my freezer and found what I thought was some flour breading from the last time I had fried fish. Not exactly – it was powdered sugar left over from Christmas cookie baking. Luckily I figured this out before I started frying them.
tweeted
http://twitter.com/fairydancer35/status/22842415487
Not a “real” cooking story, but so very funny. My husband had to dig up a pipe in the backyard to fix it. When he was done, he was going to seed it over, but the boys loved to dig in the dirt, so we decided to leave it for them to play in. A few weeks ago – the day after a rain – they went outside to play and I was getting dinner ready, doing chores, etc. I could hear them, but was so surprised after almost an hour that there was no fighting, yelling, crying, etc. I was thinking to myself, boy, they are getting along so nicely, I have such good boys maybe we can go out for ice cream after dinner as a treat. I stepped outside to compliment them on their behavior, and this is what I was greeted with
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2049417&id=1330555949&l=d4efff91b6
I must have said something like “What possessed you?” and my youngest (the one covered from head to toe) said “I was making mud pies for dinner, but the recipe went all wrong!” I could not do anything but laugh, but needless to say, the area was seeded by the weekend!
My husband’s elderly Great Aunt passed away a few years ago in Florida, and the family honored her wishes to be cremated and transported back to her hometown in Ohio to be buried near her parents.
We took our 3 year old daughter to the grave-side service, where the small box was already in place to be interred, and it looked vaguely like a small cooler spray painted gold.
Imagine our horror when our daughter exclaimed loudly and with great excitement, “Momma! What’s in the treasure box?!”
Imagine my embarrassment when I had to explain: “It’s Aunt Audrey!”
One morning I had a glass of milk before work, and I remembered that there was about half a gallon left. Later that day, my husband called me and asked me to pick up milk on the way home. “He must have been really thirsty,” I thought. So I picked up the milk and later that night I went to get a glass out of the cupboard. And there was the half empty carton milk, in the glass cupboard, where I had put it before I went to work. Oops!
This is as funny as I get (I’m pretty serious)! My son always hated sweet potatoes when he was little–this was to the point where if we asked him to try one he would gag. One day, we had lunch at my sister’s. We had burritos. My son said they were the best burritos he had ever had. Guess what? There were sweet potatoes in them! We tease him to this day!
Tweet
http://twitter.com/jillyrh/status/22573792570
Thanks
I was walking on the treadmil at the gym, minding my own business when this gorgeous guy decided to walk past me. I turned around to watch him go by, lost my footing and proceeded to do a face plant on the treadmill making a fool out of myself in front of someone I was hoping to perhaps get to know in the future. Several people around me were trying their hardest not to laugh but I must admit it was pretty funny.
Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water? A: Just spell “Evian” backwards!
gmissycat@yahoo.com
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My daughter, who is 7 and has Down syndrome, is a big movie fan and her FAVORITE movie is “Avatar”. The other day she was misbehaving and, I admit, I was already at the end of my rope on a long, home-bound, summer day. So I yelled at her, having a little fit on her behavior.
Amelia comes up to me, puts up her hand and with her best Zoe Saldana impressions says, “You like a baby!” I started laughing hysterically until she joined me. Yea, lesson learned…
So I got new glasses for the first time in a few years. I had to bring my kids along to get them since they were out of school. Once we were out into the parking lot, I turned to my oldest who is 10, and asked how I looked. She looked me in the eye and said “Just like Professor Trelawny from Harry Potter”.
Um…Ok. Not exactly the look I was going for.
Thanks, sweet girl, for telling me.
http://www.toplessrobot.com/trelawney.jpg
Funny story: My daughter was 11 years old and decided to make me some pancakes. Isn’t that sweet? She was always trying to make someone’s day special. It sure was a sweet surprise that weekend morning when she brought me breakfast in bed. I took a bite of the pancakes as she watched in anticipation. Did you know salt looks pretty much the same as sugar? A cup of salt sure tastes different than a cup of sugar. Those were some interesting pancakes!
I love your son. We can play. I own most of those guns and use them to shoot my kids. I am partial to my orange automatic. My sons use laser pointing Star Wars Nerf weapons, while my 17 year old daughter likes the Nerf blow dart. Come around during war time and its like Nerfageddon at my house! They recently ganged up on me and shot me so many times I ended up with little round Nerf hickeys. I resorted to telling people that I had an affair with a little octopus.
Last weekend we attended an outdoor wedding with our children(what were we thinking?) Our 4 year old of course had to use the bathroom which was a delightful port-a-potty! As I am helping her in the “bathroom” she says to our 2 year old daughter, “Scarlett, don’t climb in here it’s NOT a tub”.
Here’s an very old one.
It was about 3:00 in the morning and our phone was ringing and ringing downstairs (about 1982 maybe? no answering machines) so I finally got up to answer it. It was a neighbor boy who said “Your garage is on fire!”, I said “yeah right Greg,” and hung up. So then I walked to look out the back window and um, our garage was on fire. The phone rang again and I picked it up and yelled “get off the phone I have to call the fire department” then ran upstairs and woke up my Dad, and chaos ensued. It wasn’t terribly damaging so that was good.
[...] this system – color coordinated bullets are all part of the strategy. You can read more about how we got to this point here… I used to be anti-gun. Now I am just [...]
Tweeted:
http://twitter.com/auntiethesis/status/21887621641
shel704 at aol dot com
I have a tendency to burn anything I’m making and constantly set off the smoke detector when I’m cooking. My husband, children and I went to a restaurant for dinner and as we sat there, someone’s pager went off across the restaurant and it sounded just like our smoke detector. My son turned to my husband and said “That sound means dinner’s ready at home!”
And last week I attempted to modify a banana bread recipe I found online. I pulled it out of the oven and let it cool, but apparently not long enough. I flipped it over to take it out of the pan and it broke apart all over the cooling rack except for the bottom part of the bread which was burnt to the bottom of the pan. Apparently adding buttermilk powder and extra bananas was not a good idea. Even the dogs wouldn’t eat the pieces.
shel704 at aol dot com
blogged here http://theartofrandomwillynillyness.blogspot.com/2010/08/blogher-contests.html
It wasn’t funny at the time but I actually once blew up the stove. Now it wasn;t like it totally blew up but I was cooking pasta and the water spilled on the flat top. This stove was old so the water leaked into where the heating elements are and it sizzled and popped and ons of black smoke came out. Luckily the breaker turned off and besides some smoke & the fire alarm going off, it was fine. The alarm company called and checked onme and I said, it;s fine. Nothing is going on. THey sent the fire dept anyway. So 2 fire trucks show up with about 10 firemen. The problem, I am in my jammies with my hair up like Pebbles Flintstones and I look like heck. They all came in, checked everything out and left. When I looked out the whole neighborhood was out. It was embarrasing but now funny!
The funniest thing that has happened to me lately is when I was running the other morning my ipod got stuck on the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song (my kids have a couple songs on there too). It has been acting up lately, and apparently decided to become possessed and torture me on my morning run. How can you run to that? I had to stop and walk home because I couldn’t stop laughing and it just kept repeating that song!
this is a funny (I can laugh about now) from when I was first married. I had treated myself to a small bag of peanut m&m’s (why – yes that has changed to the club size these days — who’s asking!?
) — and a mud facial…you know those masks? While waiting for it to dry I perused some thing good to read — nibbling on my m&m’s — and soon fell asleep across our bed. we were newlyweds and in a two room apartment on the back of our elderly landlord’s house…so the bed WAS in our main room. My husband arrived home from school to find his wife sprawled out, asleep – empty m&m’s and with dried mud spackled to her face. How romantic! He remembers it with love, and so do I — and boy, was that mud hard to chip off!!
sorry here is the link
http://twitter.com/shoppingchic2/status/21677606383
Here is a “funny” story, but more like frustrating:
Our brand new Amana dishwasher broke 10 months after we got it, so we had one ocmpany out, then another company out to fix it, only to find out the part we needed was backordered for 2 months, so they decided to replace it, so we waited 3 weeks for that to come in, and when they came to deliver it, we found out it wouldn’t fit . . . so now it’s been 3 months and we are still without a dishwasher . . . funny, isnt it?
seanm1999 at hotmail dot com
Email: bluegirl1423@gmail.com
Comment: My story consists of a cat that likes water and a toilet. Our cats usually jump up onthe toilet lid to get to the sink for some water, but I dont think they realized that we have to put the lid down before they can jump up, and one day our little boy kitten jumped up, not thinking,and in he went . . . so we had to wash him off, as we hadn’t flushed yet :-/
well this is my sister’s story, but i have permission to use it. When she was learning to bake, she couldnt tell the difference betwen salt and sugar, so she added 1.5 cups of salt instead of 1.5 cups of sugar to a cookie recipe, and needless to say they were NOT edible!
Swamp Monsters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIsMsrHvVj4&feature=channel
so. yeah.
uhmmmmmmmm… seven miles this past saturday.
yeah. about that.
i’ve been debating how much to share about my awesome experience this saturday. i’ve finally decided i’m gonna tell it all– no hiding. i warn you all– it was not pretty and down-right gut wrenching.
here. we. go.
the morning started out with a lot of prep time– for me, this run was serious business. i looked at it as my “gateway run”. in my mind there are 2 groups of runners– the “leisurely jogging for no reason in particular” crowd and the “i’ve gotten a taste of the endorphin rush and it’s AWESOME” crowd. the first group can stop at any time– running isn’t a big part of their life and they really don’t see what all the fuss is about.
the other crowd has had a hit of the good stuff– endorphins– and there’s no going back. this crowd has gotten over the hump of the first real “hard” run and reaped the benefits of the runner’s rush. this crowd can talk themselves into any distance because they know the beauty of endorphins. (this is how i explain the insanity that is marathon running– because signing up willingly to run 26.2 miles is not sane behavior. at. all.)
so, for me seven miles was the gateway mileage to see if i could be hardcore– and, i was gonna prepare for ultimate success.
i first prepped the feet. blisters were not going to take me down. i had been told moisture was the enemy– and talcum powder was the key. but, i took it one step further and bought MEDICATED foot powder. that’s right– menthol in my socks. seemed smart at the time of purchase. i filled my shoes and my socks with so much powder i produced a little puff of smoke with each step. (this. was. awesome. — it was like walking around with my own personal smoke machine. i started singing a groovy theme song to round out the show)
next came the tunes. i was not gonna be taken down by bad music– or, the annoying, bouncing wire that runs from my ear buds to my mp3 player.
that wire has been my nemesis from day one. i’ve had it bouncing in the front– only to pull on it with my wildly swinging arms while attempting to beat tiny humans riding in strollers.
this resulted in flying earbuds and other failures i’d rather not discuss.
i’ve also tried the bouncing wire in the back– which just felt like some one trying to get my attention by tapping me on the back for an hour. (very. not. pleasant.) i decided the plan of attack for my hardcore run would be an under-the-shirt, behind-the-back method with music that would be just hyper enough to keep me distracted from the pain i was sure to feel.
finally i gathered my water bottle (i learned to open it. holla) and some freaky jelly beans my wonderful homeskillet said i needed to chew at about 45 minutes into the run. this sounded weird and hardcore– which made me think, “wooooo hooooo!”– i am ready for the run that is gonna bump me up to “awesome”.
i start running, and everything goes great.
i pass a baby-mama with a stroller, a girl on a scooter, and an old man walking a dog.
GAME. ON.
then, about 2 1/2 miles into the run something happened i hope NEVER happens again. my stomach begins to rumble– in an uncomfortable manner that means something serious is going on in my belly.
i continue to run.
very.very.slowly.
i take in my surroundings– trees on one side, creek on the other.
no.bathroom.anywhere.
this is not good.
i see my skillets up ahead, but they’re too far away to hear me if i yell. i can’t go forward. i have to turn back. i try running back, but my stomach continues to get worse and worse– at one point i get shivers and beads of sweat on my upper lip. and in my ear i hear outkast singing, “heeeeey yay yah, HEY yah.”– this is now THE most annoying song on the planet, and it actually makes the pain worse.
in the meantime my feet are tingling more and more as the sweat from the run triggers the menthol powder. i am trying to make it out with my dignity in tact– with pasty, tingling feet throwing up puffs of smoke while my stomach screams louder and louder with no relief in sight. (yeah, i’m awesome and hardcore)
this is when i dub the 2 1/2 mile struggle back to my car– the trail of fear.
i was in trouble– and, i prayed the entire way– please LORD do NOT let this happen in front of that baby. (insert diaper joke here)
i survived the trail of fear– only to face a sick and twisted plot that involved every person in the world being on the road and driving as slow as humanly possible the entire 5 mile stretch to my front door.
the drive almost did me in– i felt pain i have not experienced since delivering thing 1 and thing 2.
and, just when i thought it couldn’t get any more traumatic and distressing– i experienced an all-new level of discomfort when i had to slow down for SPEED BUMPS– at this point i scream, “KILL ME NOW!”
surprisingly, i did not die.
i made it home, ran inside– and that’s when my hardcore prep foiled me for the last time– i’ll just say my strategic under-the-shirt, behind-the-back placement was not the best arrangement for my immediate needs.
if i had to sum up this experience–i’d have to say it was totally not how i imagined my first “runner’s rush”.
i admit at times i did feel a rush of something– but i’m pretty sure it wasn’t endorphins.
My son and I were taking a walk in the wooded area around our family’s “mountain home”. At 3(well, almost 4) years old, he does a pretty good job keeping up… sometimes leaving us old folks in the dust.
This particular day, there must not have been enough to keep him interested as we were walking. We were about 2/3 of the way home when he started to complain.
After several strains of “Mommy, I’m tired! Can you carry me?” He finally just stopped. I was a bit ahead of him so I didn’t really hear him stop but soon I realized that I wasn’t hearing his footsteps behind me.
I stopped and turned to find him standing in front of a wild growing flower/weed of some sort, just standing there… looking the plant over from root to tip.
I asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I TOLD you I am tired, Mommy. So, I am just going to stay here and watch these leaves grow.”
Point made son. I carried him on my back the rest of the way home.
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