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At one point in my fitness journey I realized I needed to brave the weight room. *gasp* Something I read about “toning” and whathaveyou. But I hated the thought of the weight room — for many reasons:
- The weight room is a room of mirrors… not unlike what one might find at a local carnival or county fair.
- There are men with necks the size of big rig tires that frequent this mirrored, carnival-like space.
- There is heavy machinery in there… with cables and movable parts that could quite possibly smoosh a girl who may or may not struggle with balance issues.
- Grunting. The men (with necks the size of torsos of gradeschool children) often grunt – loudly. Not unlike a mother cow giving birth.
- To make matters worse, I even spied one or two of those grunters wearing a fanny pack. I think he was a trainer. Wrong, I know…
Mirrors? Big-necked grunters? Fanny packs?
But this is about MY embarrassing moment… not the moments of big-necked, fanny pack-wearin’, grunting-but-not-giving-birth men.
Before going in, I created some rules for myself:
- Keep my head down.
- Never, NEVER wear a fanny pack.
- Never, evereverever grunt. Ever.
- Measure my neck.
I had standards.
But then one day… It was early. Before 6 a.m. I sat upon a machine to work my deltoids… pectoids… adenoids? Some -oid or something…
I had recently read that if one did fewer reps with more weight that it did *something*. Like, build muscle in some sort-of way… Anywho… I loaded a machine that, when engaged, it looks like one is trying to clap ones forearms together. Hawt much?
But with that whole “heavier weight, less reps strategy”, during the release, it felt as if my shoulders might detach — from my shoulders (read: not good). So in an attempt to keep the machine from flying away with my arms, I had to fight… a fight in which cause a girl to…
grunt
*winces*
Lucky for me, there was a man standing at the machine next to me. Yeah. He was spraying it down with disinfectant after sweating all over it (My gosh, why do we go to gyms???). After my grunt was complete, he stopped. He turned, and with wide eyes that screamed concern… he asked,
Did I just squirt you?
I was all, “Dude. I totally just pwned that machine. That was the sound of victory and power. Woman over machine, not woman squirted by disinfectant!”
Reluctantly, and with my head half-down I replied, “No. NoNoNoNoNo. You didn’t squirt me. I. Uhhhh… Well… I just… I, uh… I emoted. I am not… I don’t… I just…”
Yay. It’s funny now. That morning I wanted to crawl in a hole.
Your turn! Share a funny story, video clip, picture, etc… in the comment section and you will be entered to win $150! Please keep your comments G-rated as any profanity or offensive content will automatically disqualify you from sweepstakes entry. There are 11 other chances to win $150 each month & the chance to win $100 each week from the Daily Laugh Hub on BlogHer! If you share something really funny, we may even use it in The Daily Laugh! Sweepstakes ends 8/15/2010
Rules:
- No duplicate comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by linking on twitter and leaving a link in the comments.
- You may receive an additional entry by blogging about this contest and leaving a link in the comments.
- This giveaway is open to US Residents, aged 18 and older
- Winners will be selected via random draw, and will notified by e-mail.
- You have 48 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
- You can find the official rules here.
********
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To my way of thinking, all fast food is junk. Made to appeal to the lazy masses, with flavor enhancing chemicals that can only lead to other nasty things,(obesity, allergies, etc….) a Big Mac is not and never will be a garage burger. By the same token all gourmet food is not the world savior either, what we need is a healthy balance, "FRESH" foods, keep the scientists away from my food, they have engineered enough trouble already.
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. LOL kytah00@yahoo.com
My stepson and I had gotten rollerblades and decided to go out for a while. My husband followed on his bike. I watched my stepson go over a speed bump, kind of glided up over it and with grace floated back down on his wheels. I thought it was so easy I headed for the speed bump, flew up in the air like an ungraceful bird and not so gently ended up laying in the middle of the street. My stepson was laughing so hard and my husband stopped his bike, looked at me, and says, “why’d you do that?”
I have actually gone FLYING off the back of a treadmill. LOL I wasn’t even going that fast–no good excuses, I just wasn’t paying attention I guess. Fortunately I wasn’t hurt. My friend and I both burst out laughing at the great psychical comedy…
I was roller skating at work… I know it sounds bad but no one important was there and we have these awesomely smooth concrete floors. So anyway, I was roller skating and, not to brag, I’m pretty decent at it and started doing tricks. So when I was getting ready to roll under a co-workers leg, I chickened out and fell back on my bum.
Bad idea. I messed up my tailbone something awful. Of course I didn’t go to the doctor because they’d either a) x-ray and send me home or b) violate my rearend and send me home. I just dealt with it (and took a lot of Advil). The worst part was I went on a tour of Germany 2 weeks after my spill – sitting on the airplane and in a car for as long as we did was HORRIBLE.
(shutterboo at gmail dot com)
could be when running with the dog and the dog was running smooth with me- had the leash and then looked down and realized princess was loose- she was there and running by me- had I just ran back home like nothing was wrong all would have been right but she realized her collar and leash came off and she took a run- ok dart- yep I caught up with her but if I would have down it calmy it would have been less of a heartattack on my behalf…
but thinking when I went running and was running with a group and realized – ok was told something pink and lacy was hanging out my sweats- seems I wore them running the last time and just pulled them down- panties and all and they were stuck in the legging- oh my gosh
My kitten like to sit on the Gazelle machine and pretend he’s exercising.
Tweeted giveaway: http://twitter.com/WillBinMN/status/20725301181
The story starts like this:
Me: I once sprained both ankles at the same time.
Them:Oh, how did you do that?
Me: Well, I was at work and in the bathroom on the toilet (yes, I was pooping). I didn’t notice it, but apparently my leg(s) were asleep. I stood up. Everything seemed to be okay, but when I started to bend over to pull up my pants everything came crashing down. I fell into the corner of the handicap stall making the loudest crash that could possibly be made (at least to me)in a bathroom. I started to feel an incruciating pain shooting up from my ankle(s). At the time I didn’t notice it was both.
Them: Laughing hysterically
Me: So I dressed myself successfully and stumbled back to my cube. After sitting there a few minutes I began to get dizzy and light headed. I was having cold sweats. I then rolled my chair down the hall (only two cubes away) to my Manager’s office. She called the company’s Emergency Responder. They of course asked how this happened. Thankfully they didn’t laugh at me although I don’t know that I could have held it in if I were in their position.
So the wife picks me up to take me to the emergency room. We weren’t sure if they were sprained or broken. Well, the best part of the hopsital visit was when the ER doctor basically laughed at me and asked me to tell her exactly how it happened.
So that is how I sprained both of my ankles at the same time.
[...] about an embarrassing moment? I share one here… Share yours for a chance at $150! I hope you’ll share… I love the [...]
TWEETED GIVEAWAY @ http://twitter.com/kytah00/status/20681210454 kytah00@yahoo.com
BLOGGED ABOUT GIVEAWAY @ http://hypnoticblend.blogspot.com/p/sponsored-giveaways.html kytah00@yahoo.com
My funny moment @ the gym involved my talking to a really hot guy. I had just gotten done working out when I approached him with some stupid excuse. Well he kept on looking @ me strangely and I just couldn’t figure it out. Anyway, the convo ended up being short & sweet! When I walked into the bathroom after that to change I realized there were sweat marks on my shirt where my t*ts had been sweating. And ladies, thats the down side of having a large buzzom. I was so embarrased! kytah00@yahoo.com
http://twitter.com/keepinitcheap/status/20530180692
Tweeted! Thanks for the chance!
I’m always making fun of my hubby for his lack of flexibility. One night, while we were playing Wii Fit with his fam, I was making fun of him as usual before we did the yoga part. I was complaining the whole time about how hard it was, and then when it was his turn to do it, he had NO trouble at all and totally beat me! Oh well, pride does come before a fall!
Your story reminded me of one embarrassing time at the Y.
I was trying to eat more healthy and go to the gym, and had decided that Yogurt was the perfect food. However after a couple weeks of one to two yogurts a day, I was pretty gassy.
We all had our normal treadmills (it was 5:00 AM) a 60-ish lady next to me, we all ran/walked for an hour or so. I was at the far end of the line. I rarely spoke to her or anyone except to say good morning.
Anyway, one morning I passed an SBD, and it was really super stinky, after a minute my neighbor started looking around, fanning the air, and a minute later stopped her machine and left. It was really bad.
I quit eating so much yogurt after that.
My inlaws were acting as campground hosts at a federal park. With it came a golfcart for getting around the park.
My teenagers thought their grandfather said WE could drive the golfcart too.
So my two teen daughters and I took off to see the beach area. Except that it was DOWNHILL (the world’s steepest hill ever!!).
We managed to zing right down the hill to the lovely beach area….then my husband called to tell me WE AREN’T SUPPOSED TO DRIVE THE GOLFCART!!!
We panicked and tried to get back to camp without being busted by the park cops/directors.
We ended up having to PUSH it to the top of the hill. In the record Indiana summer heat!
Pictures at this post http://queenieslittlekingdom.com/?p=3044
I was whining to hubby about spending more time together so we, mainly I, thought it’d be a good idea for me to join his bowling league. I had been on the league for a while and was frustrated that I could never crack 100. I mean everyone else on the team averaged 150, 175 and up.
Our team made it to the league championship and that day I finally did it. I was nearing 100. I was ecstatic. Everyone else well, umm, not so much. One of the guys pulled my husband aside. Next thing you know, hubby comes up to me to explain that I was the handicap and that my good bowling was actually bad for the team.
They wanted me to bowl poorly but that night of all nights, I was on a roll and couldn’t. I was getting strikes and spares left and right. I still remember the grimaces on my team’s faces whenever I got a strike or a spare. They were actually coaching me on how to bowl poorly (like I needed that, I mean I mastered it all the weeks before). But the one night, the one night, my poor bowling skills were needed…I was on fire and couldn’t lose. Oh yeah, we lost the championship but I learned a lot about bowling and handicaps.
[...] I have a$150 giveaway going right now… all about the funny! It’s a little story about a squirt bottle, a strange man, and the [...]
Tweet-a-tweet-tweet!
http://twitter.com/Ida_Sessions/status/20108920463
At a charity auction, my friend bought six month’s worth of visits by a personal trainer. He was allowed to share the trainer with a guest. Why was I foolish enough to accept the invitation? We began the session with chin-ups, or, in my case, a single chin-up. I couldn’t even manage the one. The trainer paused, and diplomatically said, “Well. We now have established your goal. Your personal goal is ONE chin-up.”
Tweeted:
http://twitter.com/auntiethesis/status/19972898188
After the birth of my daughter, I decided to spend the money and join the gym nearby that had free babysitting while moms were working out. I was rushing around, trying to make the 11am aerobics class and I was stuffing my bag with my workout clothes, my shoes, and another bag with baby essentials so I could get there on time.
Racing out the door, I just make it in time to drop off my daughter and run to the locker room and swap out my clothes for my workout shorts. Being late, I got the spot right in front of the class..ugh! It wouldn’t have been so bad except I happened to grab the pair of workout shorts the darn dog had decided to eat the crotch out of. I did the entire class with a gaping hole in the back of my shorts and my underwear hanging out!
Needless to say I started checking the shorts to make sure the dog hadn’t used them as a Scooby Snack before I left the house.
I tripped and fell off the treadmill last week when I was watching a good looking guy walk by. And, yes, he noticed me too after that – Ugh!
Tweet Tweet:
http://twitter.com/lipstickncandy/status/19909491645
Loved the story and the photo! Heres mine…Love your story, it will be a funny thing to tell baby someday
One of my most embarrassing stories involved me in a show, I work in theatre a lot and since costume wasn’t done until last minute, so during rehearsal I always had to “pretend” to curtsy in my dress, which was a very long and bulky dress, much longer and bigger than my real dress would be on show night. So once the show started and I was finally in my costume dress, no more pretending with a long bulky gown, I had to actually curtsy with a shorter more sleek ballgown. Well, I wasn’t used to wearing a shorter ball gown, and when it came time to curtsy, I did. I heard a few chuckles, but didn’t think any thing of it. Next, it came time for me to “bow” to the prince in the show, and when I did, I was met with more giggles, not to mention the Prince’s eyes just about popped out of my head. What was everyone laughing at?? I didn’t get it. When I walked off stage when my scene was over, my director ran over to me and said in a frantic voice “Amber, you’re pulling the dress up high, and showing the entire audience your underwear and stockings!”. I just about fell over with embarrassment. I was so used to curtsying big and heavy with the larger dress that I had forgotten that I could do it lighter and less pronounced with my brand new dress. But the show must go on! So for the rest of the show, I didn’t curtsy 
I’m sure we’ve all had them…those moments that last forever in your memory. The ones where you prayed to never see the innocent bystanders EVER again.
I have been thinking a lot about when my boys were younger, man I miss those days. I thought it was so hard at the time, but I would love to have those days back. Life was simple, and they were simply embarrassing kids!
Don’t believe me?
I now submit for evidence: Article A – The Airport
When the boys were young we traveled to and from NC to visit with the Grands. Due to my husbands work schedule and our need to see them every three months (lucky aren’t they), I took most of these trips alone.
You may have seen me there, I was the one running to make my connection pushing a double stroller with about 60 lbs of weight sitting in it (I had some chunksters), rolling 2 bags of carry-on, a stuffed diaper bag, and 2 car seats around my shoulders! Oh yeah, and I was probably crying!
So on the way home from one of these lovely trips we are standing in line at the gate getting ready to board the plane, and I’m holding J’s hand and have JJ on my hip. Suddenly I hear JJ say “Look J I found band-aids in mommy’s pocket book” to which J quickly starts yelling “I wanna band-aid too mom, I want one, I want one”. So I am frantically digging in my purse trying to find the band-aids when I realize, I never carry band-aids in my purse. I curiously looked up at JJ to find that he had unwrapped a pad and stuck it to his forehead! I thought I was going to die! I quickly ripped it from his head and shoved it in my purse. I’m not sure how many people witnessed my humiliation, I kept my head down and my eyes forward, and yes I prayed “Lord, please don’t ever let me see these people again”, so far , so good!
It’s always funny when I run right off the treadmill. haha
This is sort of a workout moment. I was in the Army and one day we went to the range for target practice. The soldiers that were not in a spot to shoot had to sit on these benches behind a lane. They were video taping that day for our graduation recap clips. Being the cool person I was, I totally did not pay attention to how THIN the bench was that I was getting ready to sit on. I sat down and then tried to scoot back on the bench (being that this short person could barely get up to the bench as it was). When I scooted I flipped completely over and landed with my head under the bench. The video guy got it on tape. How embarrassing!!
I definitely ran off the treadmill last week when I tried to look at my Ipod for too long! Youch! scg00387 at yahoo dot com
http://twitter.com/DeeGee13/status/19520430744
tweeted your contest!
http://deegee13.xanga.com/730672918/the-laughing-cow-contest-time/ blogged!
My embarrassing workout moment was when I was running outdoors (well, more so jogging to be honest lol) and saw two cute guys on the other side of the street so to impress them I started sprinting (even though I was already out of breath) and blasted my ipod music to gear me up. I guess I was so focused on trying to assume proper sprint form and pumping it up that I sort of zoned out from reality because I literally ran into a bus stop sign. It was so humiliating I ran all the way back home as those guys smirked at my mishap! ahh!
My friend and I used to go rollerblading at the beach. As I was blading, I got distracted by a good looking guy playing volleyball. I rolled right off the sidewalk and into the sand; went face first into a bench and chipped my front teeth. So not only did I embarass myself in front of the good looking guy; I had to walk around with a chipped front tooth for a week until I could get into the dentist.
tweeted about the giveaway:
http://twitter.com/JoeyfromSC/status/19443985283
ajoebloe(at)gmail(dot)com
wow at your story! lol
Okay, this is SO embarrassing BUT I’m gonna tell it lol
It happened quite some years ago when I lost my 70 lbs..I was exercising alot and got bored with walking only..I decided to do some aerobics and various things from a dvd I had..well, one involved laying across a coffee table using it like a weight bench almost..I had no clue our table was that flimsy or I was that heavy but it didn’t take long and BAM..I was laying on the floor on top of a broken, flattened coffee table:( lol
thanks for the chance to win!
ajoebloe(at)gmail(dot)com
I don’t know how funny this story is to others, but at the time I thought it was. I joined a lady’s gym when I was a teenager and there was a woman who insisted on walking around the lady’s locker room completely naked. She would go up to people and have conversations with them, stark naked. I thought it was pretty outrageous.
When my daughter was 2 we went to the library together. While I was checking out our books I asked her to draw a picture. After a few seconds of her scribbling, she shouts (SHOUTS) in the library “Mama I drew papa’s penis”. Oh goodness. I wanted to shrink and crawl under the desk. It didn’t help that the 80 year old woman sitting next to her was giving me the stink eye.
The more I asked her to lower her voice, the louder she said “PENIS”.
Luckily we survived. But it was a close one. I think I almost spontaneously combusted.
True story.
As an organizing expert most folks expect my house to be … *well* … organized. However, I have a few rules too ~ I refuse to nag my family.
So, when I had to write a post about Summer Clutter I didn’t have to venture far for inspiration {grin}. I created the following video for the post {all pics are of my home} ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VgwZ3DDiK8&feature=player_embedded
My disclaimer? Just because I’ve got the skills doesn’t mean my lovely house mates do too!
Keep us laughin’ Jenny!
my husband has never worn shorts in the 29 years i have known him. but with the temperatures so high this year, he asked me for a pair of shorts- i wear unisex shorts, so it wasn’t like he was cross-dressingor anything. he was much cooler after he wore those!
he wore them to cut the lawn on his riding lawnmower. later, he showed me his burned thighs and i took a picture of them to show my son because the sunburn was so red against his fishbelly white thighs. i didn’t think about the fact he was in his underwear at the time. my son’s phone was broken and he was waiting on his replacement,so i sent it to my daughter-in-law’s phone. my husband had a fit that i had sent a photo of his thighs (and also some private areas!) to her. it didn’t even occur to me! after he fussed a bit, he finally laughed about it and i promised not to send her anymore photos of that nature.
i didn’t have the heart to tell him that she later posted it to facebook for the entire world to see!
if i win the $100, i promise to use it to buy him some longer cargo shorts to use while cutting the grass!
good giveaway, great hostess!
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